AAHHH
life sucks
Erika this is to you:
Im sorry dear 4 being a whore i really am, but ive changed alot since Logen. You are amazing beyond belief && i hate you being mad @ me. You are my world. People say im obessed w/ you but you know what, maybe i am, but thats because im scare of losing you. Now that i almost have lost you im a mess. Ya today i started crying when i saw you. I couldnt handle it. Im stupid & im not strong, but i cried alot. I tried 2 avoid you the best i could so i wouldnt start crying but my dad just didnt get it & made me do things i didnt wanna do thats why i kept crying. Anyways, i miss you so much. If we werent mad @ eachother we coulda had fun @ St. John's. You woulda jumped outta the pimpmobile & i woulda ran up to you & hugged you. This was the first time we saw eachother since January 7. Almost 3 months.....it was sad that i couldnt hug you. Im sorry Erika. I really truly am. Please forgive me. Please babe. I love you so much & that will never ever change.
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Im Cute & Im Sly. Buuuut I can also be I n n o c e n t
About Me
- Your favorite shorty
- So basically im your average teenage girl who stresses over the littlest things & im obessed w/ guys but havent found the one yet.
8 comments:
kay, a few things...
first of all, i can't be your strong hold... i can be your friend and i can help you sometimes but i can't be what keeps you going... you know?? i'm not a professional and i can't help you like those people can
second, i know that you're aware that i don't agree with your decisions but you KNOW that i don't and you still do it... i can't respect someone that doesn't respect themselves so until i see change i don't know if we can be close friends... and i hope that makes sense because i really do want the best for you, and like i said to jamarr last night, maybe our friendship is enough to get you to change... but if not, we didn't have a good friendship in the first place... but that's not my decision, that's yours
also like i said to jamarr, just because you have depression doesn't mean that it can be your excuse for your poor decisions because the depression does not FORCE you to do those things... it really doesn't... and both of us know that... you need to be bigger and stronger than that (even though i know it's hard) and resist the urge... i don't want to keep seeing you get hurt by these guys that need you for a quick orgy and then are out the door... you are worth a lot more than that and the only person that deserves you sexually like that is a person you are in love with and also in a steady relationship with... you didn't see me having sex with wally or any of those people, right?... you can do it just like i can
whew that was long
do you understand what i mean?
I understand what your are saying but the thing ur not getting is. I am changing my decisions.
Im not going around & having sex w/ everyone anymore. For gosh sake i didnt even have sex w/ Brandon. I told Kayla i did w/ the hope that she would leave me alone cuz thats wen i wanted a break from her. Ya thats right i lied 2 her. I dont respect her. Sorry but its the truth. I know your not the kind of person thats goes off & tells people those kinds of things thats why im saying this to you. But i respect you & i dont lie to you.
I cant go from having sex w/ everyone to automatically stopping cold turkey. It doesnt work like that. I wanted to do it 4 u. But wen i told Kayla i was going 2 do that 4 u she even noticed i wouldnt be able to. But then. I was good 4 a while. Brandon came alone & i made a little mistake. I let him finger me. && while i was on my period. Sick now that i think about it. It was a mistake. No one is perfect. Im not blaming it on my depression.
What i am going to blame on my depression but its not my depressions fault ur right but my depression plays a part. When someone is depressed, feeling permiscuous makes them feel good & feel loved. There was this girl in the hospital the first time i was there, she was a sex addict. She had sex w/ 40 year olds. & had sex w/ @ least 40 men. She had horrible depression. She was getting help obviously @ the hospital. So im not just making it up.
&& ur right depression doesnt force me 2 have sex w/ these guys but it did make me feel loved. But now. idk if u got the hint or not. But Jamarr is coming back in2 my life i refuse 2 date him but theres lotsa guys that tell me im beautiful & smart & cute & hot & i love it. Cuz i dont gotta have sex w/ em. Caseyyyy on the other hand. Ya i hung out w/ him @ the mall on Monday buuuut all he wanted was sex. I dropped him like a fly yesterday i was like screw u. Im not goina do it. Our friendship is the most important thing 2 me in the world since my parents dont really mean nething 2 me.
I love you dear & i miss u.
yeah, i mean... i'm not against premarital sex because if you're in a loving relationship and things like that, i believe it's okay... but going around just to feel loved and having sex is wrong and i know that you know that... yeah, it will make you feel loved and stuff but when they don't talk to you the next day or only want that from you, it's not gonna make you feel loved, it'll really hurt you... && as a friend, i don't want to see that happen to you
i DO know that depression does have a part to play in it, but i also know that every person that has depression is NOT like that... so that's where your common sense needs to come into play... and that's not something you can change
why is jamarr coming back into your life? you know that he treats you like shit... & i am supposed to hate you and not talk to you if you go back out with him (just a reminder)
and good job about the casey thing :D i'm really glad
i know all that stuff already. everything single thing.
but ur sayen u dont agree w/ my decision. but wut im thinking is. ur goin back 2 the past & not agreeing w/ wut i did do. cuz now im clean. i have been for 2 weeks now. && i plan to be for a loooooooooong time. I havent had sex since Logen =] so im good w/ that
The Jamarr thing. Ya i kno. I kno. I was the one that sed that. I kno exactly where i was sitting wen i sed that 2. =]
Are we good yet? Or you still need time SUPERERIKA?! [sorry hadda throw it in there]
yes i am saying that and i'm holding your past against you (which is generally a bad thing) but the change being brought forth from it is a lifelesson and probably saving you from 1. an std or 2. a baby
& i think i'll take you up on "some more time" SUPERMORGAN
oh and my name is cooler cuz theres like ERER right in a row :]
YOU ARE A DORK
I HATE YOU MOM! lol
but were friends right?
not best friends but friends?
hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
i cant rly think
im pissed about sandyvagina
LMAO ok
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